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Thursday, July 2, 2020

Liberal Trilogy 1- Chinese Whisperers

Pick nd choose, shoot and scoot
Truth and morals? we don't give two hoots.

Once we reported news, now we make them.
Once we generated views, now we fake them.
Once we were the masses' voice, now we are a cacophonous noise
Once we were the nation's choice, now we are China's choirboys.

We report, we lie,
for we choose the what and the why
Our narratives, so twisted,
as if the truth never existed.


For the right amount, we can be blind, we can be conniving,
Through our filter, oh so forgiving,
Stone pelters are just exercising their right to have fun,
And Burhan Wani is just a poor head masters's son!

Everytime the nation suffers, we rejoice,
Everytime we mislead the innocent with our ploys
With every fake news, we assert our rights as free men,
And forget our duties by screaming "THEY hanged Yakub Memon".

-Shivam

Sunday, June 21, 2020

Profits from the passing

Your whinings, your weepings, your woes
Your family, your friends, your foes
are nothing but bytes to their news,
are nothing but a veil for their views.

When they have no esteem for the alive
When they have no dignity for the dead
they dig around your present and past
they tear your life to chewable shreds

For them, your life, was nothing but a spectacle
For them, your death, is a career miracle.
For they get to speak how much you meant
For they get to interpret all that you dreamt.

You are nothing but another breaking news,
Your woes are used to boost their channel views
When you were happy, they burned
When you left, they act concerned.

Who are they? The media, the brokers of news
the hyenas, the vultures, the rotting corpse who chews.
Shut off your telly, stay off the net
Find your happiness, in the people you've met.

Friday, June 19, 2020

The Fault in our News

The clock was ticking. Nervous perspiration trickled down their backs as they watched their chairman, their boss, their supreme leader walk in the conference room. This meeting was for deciding the direction in which their web portal had to be steered. With slow, shuffling steps, he walked. From the furthest chair in the room, he was only visible as a shining spot owing to the lack of hair. On his head.

"Good morning everyone," Patrick Cheena, the head of Fault Views grumbled. It was evident he was upset.

"What's with the mood boss?" the second in command, Mr GumBear asked.

"Damn this GPS! I wanted to go Left, but the bloody system made turn Right," Mr Cheena shouted, visibly angry, as he adjusted his wig.

Everyone in the hall was horrified. The murmurs started immediately. GumBear stood up and silently connected the display monitor to his laptop. Now, everyone's ten year old tweets where they had praised Modi were visible.

"Do you want me to run..." GumBear paused dramatically, "A FACT CHECK?" The murmurs stopped immediately. Everyone's attention shifted back to Mr Cheena, who had, by now, perfectly placed the wig. He now had hairs longer than Rapunzel. Tying them in a neat bun, he started, "So, what news do we have this week?"

"Sir there are memes with Taimur's tshirt turned orange. Sangh is trying to induct Taimur via photoshop," an intern spoke.

"Nice one! GumBear, run a fact check and show these Sanghis their place!"

"Sir, another news. NDTV just said...." He was cut off mid sentence by a wave of hands by Mr Cheena. He slowly walked towards the speaker, held his collar and shouted in his ears, "DO YOU NOT KNOW THE POLICY OF OUR SITE? DO WE FACT CHECK FAKE NEWS BY NDTV?"

His hearing impaired by a few decibels, the young hacker-cum-fact checker sat down, shaking.

GumBear interjected, "Patrick sir, with the border tensions at an all time high, we can use it to, you know, fact -check some claims."

Patrick's eyes gleamed. He patted GumBear on his back, stroked his chin to which GumBear slightly shook his head and smiled. Patrick turned around dramatically and said, "Go through every news on the India-China face-off. Abd while you do so, take these," he opened a duffel bag containing eyeglasses. But strangely, only the right lens was present. There was a black film where the left lens should have been.

"These are my latest fact checking glasses. If you wish to fact-check any claim, you wear these."

"But sir, why is the left side covered?" another hacker/fact checker asked.

"Dont you get it? Thess glasses help us fact-check. Now, you don't verify what you dont see. We will not see anything from the Left. It is our mission to counter and disprove anything the Right Wing writes."

"Wow. You are a genius, sir," GumBear exclaimed, "Where did you find these?"

"On my trip to China, a few days before the attacks began. These costed 2 Yuan each. And I am a 2 Yuan person," Mr Cheena replied.

Hence, in an orderly manner, the entire staff of internet trolls, hackers lined up to collect their eyewear, eager to write the next article showing how Indians are fools to fight against China or how Hindus are spreading terror. GumBear got busy digging out ten year old tweets of people who dared to support India on Twitter and started embarrassing them.

Somewhere in Italy, a descendant of Mussolini's soldier smiled.

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Lives matter not

New Poem Alert!

This poem is trying to express my feelings about all those "social justice protests" ranging from anti CAA stir, to George Floyd. The essence is, nobody cares about the mob, and most certainly not those who instigate them to go on a violent rampage. If you think that social media warrior actually cares about you, you are sorely mistaken. All they care about, is their reach. And likes/shares/comments on their post. Or maybe just the political agenda of the party they support.

Read on!

Lives Matter Not

Lives matter not,
be it Dalits', Muslims' or Black.
Lies are all that matter,
and yes, white is the new black.

Lives matter not,
be it Brahmins', Hindus' or white,
Agenda matters, propaganda peddles
and no peddler cares about your rights.

Lives matter not,
Hashtags and twitter trends do
Burning shops and butchering cops is just,
Anything, everything to satisfy the violent lust.

Lives matter not,
Guns and knives do
You may hate, detest, even lynch
If it's fair game (1), justifying it is a cinch (2).

Lives matter not,
Being an online activist does
Social media is the new arena, twitter fights the new war,
Only matters that we trump the other, not what we fighting for.

Lives matter not,
they never did.
Behind the façade that is social justice,
the hypocrite's intentions hid.

Footnote-

1. Fair game- Concept of fair game in sects is that an individual can be harmed within the law of the sect, if they do anything against the sect. They are called "fair game". Like the concept of kaffirs.

2. Cinch- Something sure or easy.

Monday, March 23, 2020

Satire Interviews- RAtS

"Hello friends! Today we interview a person whom nobody knows. And that's precisely why she is here with us. Am I right Ms RAts?

"Absolutely. I am a very famous journalist in my gully, and I have written a lot of important articles on bladder habits of Taimur, which have been appreciated by everyone in my office. Even the sweeper."

"So, that takes your list of admirers to...?"

"Five. Apart from me, my office has a watchman, a receptionist, an intern and a sweeper."

"That's amazing. So, tell me about yourself. I am sure our readers are not interested in knowing who you are, but let's get it over with anyway."

"Thank you for asking that. See, I am a gender-fluid, free-speech warrior, travel freak, sapiosexual, cat hoarder."

"Ma'am, I haven't asked your twitter bio. I said, who are you?"

"But that's who I am. My twitter bio is literally my CV. Outside of twitter, I am not sure whether i even exist."

"So, what if Twitter were to, say, go down for a few hours?"

"I would be dead to the world. Alive, biologically. But otherwise, dead."

"That's such a Transcendence-level thought. Now, coming to the present. Tell our readers why you became famous yesterday."

"So, this was the thing. Modi asked Indians to stay united, and clap and bang plates to appreciate the coronavirus warriors. And I saw everyone appreciate the move. Of course, our own poison chalice, Ms Rana Ayyub, showed her hate there too. But it wasn't enough. I spotted an opportunity."

"What kind of opportunity?"

"There was nobody opposing this move except inconsequential people like Rana Ayyub, who nobody cares about. So I decided to jump in ans grab some headlines."

"And did it work?"

"Well, do you know my real name? No. And yet, here I am giving you an interview! Of course it worked! All I had to do was to write abuses on twitter and wish ugly things on people who stood united with the nation. Within minutes, hate began to pour in. But more importantly, so did the replies, the retweets, the Likes. These are the Roti, Kapda, Makaan of Twitter citizens like me."

"Very interesting point Miss.... whatever your name is. But all this hate, does it not affect you?"

"Barely. In fact, it has now inspired other attention-starved non celebrities to gain some traction. All we have to do is to show hate towards Indians, throw a random gomutra jibe and suddenly people like Kunal Kamra start following us."

"Kunal Kamra follows you?"

"Yes. Not on twitter though. He follows me daily when I go to work in the morning and return in the evening."

"Haha! That must be for his next stand up performance I think. Right?"

"Yes. Even if it were not, we can't risk alienating any kind of support, you see."

"So, do you really mean all these tweets about hoping that Modi voters get coronavirus?  Or the abuses?"

"Not at all. These are just a
 way to get people see my profile. If I dont get enough clicks in my articles, my advertisers won't pay me."

"Okay, too much honestly here. No wonder you didn't cut it as a journalist. Anyway, it was great talking to you."

"Thank you. Watch out for my next tweet. This time, I am gonna say how Pakistan is better than India. Oh, I can't imagine how much hate and attention I will receive!"

Saturday, November 2, 2019

Your journalism is a JOKE and that's what Modi said!!


The previous interview with Mr. P.A.K.I.S.T.Anees Ghoulam had left me with more questions than answers. He had praised our role in sustaining their narrative against India, and that made me think about the original Godfather of Liberal journalism. That was when I came across the news that he has won the Top Ramen Noodles award for Yellow Journalism. His chief contribution was to find a way to blame everything on Mr Modi within 2 minutes. He was the reason most of us took up journalism as a hobby and peddling Left agendas as a career. I knew that I had to interview him.

"Welcome Mr....."
"Please dont give me a name here", he cut me off, "I am more than a name. I am a movement. I am every kind of movement in India- Leftist movement, Freedom movement, Bowel movement."

"Understood sir. So, how does it feel to win the prestigious Top Ramen Noodles award?"

"It is amazing, you know. I knew that peddling Left agenda can be rewarded by money, but I never knew I can get awards too."

"But what about the allegations that the company that gave away the awards is owned by your brother?"

"What?? How can you accuse me of being a capitalist? I am a socialist, nay, a Communist to the core. Even while coming here, I took a rickshaw, so that people can see how down to earth I am," he said, pouring himself a glass of Champagne.

"So the company is not owned by your brother?"

"It is owned by him, no doubt. But what my brother does is his problem, not mine. I focus on my work and it was my work that got me the award. Do you want to know the chief reason I won it?"

"What?"

"I coined the expression "Thats what Modi said!" It worked wonders. So, everytime anyone even remotely connected to BJP would say or do something stupid, our team would shout on television...."

"THAT'S WHAT MODI SAID!"

"Yes! Isn't it fun?"

"Wow sir. You are indeed an inspiration to us. How do you come up with such gems?"

"See, the essence of journalism is not how you find out the truth. Or how you present the truth. Or whether whatever you show is truth at all. The essence of journalism is how well you help those who finance you."

"I remember what you said on the first day of our college, sir. Please repeat it for the benefit of our readers."

"Socialist journalism needs capitalism to survive."

"Amazing. Young reporters like myself learnt this from you. We accept money from everywhere, but write to please the one who pay us the most."

"Correct. Only two ways to make money in this job- either you outsell everyone else, or you become a sellout. Since the former requires work and dedication, I choose to be the latter."

"So, how will you define your brand of sellout journalism?"

"So my journalism is all about opposing the fascist forces taking over our country. What we have as PM is literally Hitler. There is no space for dissent in the country. And I am doing dissent eveyday on television to oppose fascism."

"But they say your shows don't get TRPs any more, and people prefer to watch Mr Ornab."

"Yes. But they are common people, cattle class. They dont matter in the industry of news-making. Our journalism is for those who pay for it. They should feel happy that we are speaking their lines. What will the cattle class do by watching news, eh? Become Prime Minister?"

"Actually our current PM was one of those...."

"And THAT'S why I am here!! To ensure that NOBODY from the aam junta again dares to dream of becoming the PM, and that the power of the land remains concentrated in the hands of the few who have the means and power to pay us. I am here to ensure that the common man always remembers that if they dream to be the PM, they will face similar insults, trolling at the hands of elite and we will encourage that because the ELITE pay us and not the common man. The common man is just that- common, and they are destined to remain so."

I stood up and gave him a Nazi salute. He deserved it. His words brought tears to my eyes.

"You are amazing sir. No other journalist is a match for you. The power-families of the country will forever be grateful to your socialist journalism, which ensured them decades of power, before the current disrupter Hitler Modi took over. We still have so much to learn from you."

"Thank you. It is always a pleasure to rant against Modi, because frankly, I love my livelihood. This is what brings in my daily bread."

Interview done, we both got up and listened to the Communist anthem and started singing "Aazaadi" song with our dear comrade Nahi-kha-ya Kumar who was singing it outside my office. So I really dont understand why some people who worked in the clinic next door suddenly came and threw us all out. Can they not bear some noise? Darr ka maahol hai...

And they killed a son of a headmaster, a father of a Harvard student and a religious scholar..

Yesterday,  after a couple of drinks, I started hurling abuses outside our chawl, er, society. I abused my society chairman, my neighbours. I also threw stones at their windows. Now today, they want me locked in my room, er,  apartment and not leave until I sober up. Bloody fascists!! So, locked in the confines of my house, I decided to interview the person who would know all about it- Mr Parvez Abdul Khan Iftikhar Shah Tahir Anees Ghoulam, better known as P.A.K.I.S.T.Anees Ghoulam, head of a little known, bt extremely active organisation,  Kashmiris in India for Separate State Association (K.I.S.S.Ass). The organisation is mainly engaged in arranging for stone throwers for protests and activists for attacking Indian army camps.

"Activists, Mr Ghoulam?"

"Well of course. They are active. In activities. The activities that cause death and destruction  to Endian army. That makes them exactly what we call them- Activists. "

"It is an interesting  thought. Your activists are sure scaring the hell out of those soldiers!"

"You are getting us wrong brother. Our aim is not to scare them. We want to provoke them into attacking us back. Because who will join our cause if we dont show ourselves to be the victims of state oppression?"

"But would it not harm your kids? I mean, the oppressor Army maiming and killing them, it is bound to have casualties, right?"

"My kids? They are studying in London, where they will marry some Brit and contribute to our global cause."

"Oooh! Smart! But no, i was talking about the kids you send to attack the Army."

"Their job description includes the risk. They have the best job in the world- suicide bomber. No other job in the world so perfectly describes the work and risks so precisely."

"So how do you recoup the losses?"

"Oh, misguided youth are dime a dozen. Show them some videos, some random photos, activate their minds with key words-sacrifice, freedom etc. And they are ready to explode for you."

"Changing the topic for now. It's getting a bit too honest here. Not good journalism!"

"Hahaha! Well said bhaijaan. I am also not much used to honesty. My training sessions are also....."

"Cutting you off right here Mr P.A.K.I.S.T.Anees Ghoulam! Tell me, what is your response to allegations that you are a Pakistani agent?"

"I find it ridiculous, you know. I work for the interest of the oppressed muslims of Kashmir! I am not an agent or servant of Pakistan," Mr P.A.K.I.S.T.Anees Ghoulam added.

"So, if Kashmir gets azaadi, what industries do you think will help in its development?"

"Import-export. Our organisation import guns and grenades from pakistan and exports terorrists, er, bomb activists. Lucrative business."

"But what about the peace loving people in the Valley?"

"Oh most of them are peace loving. Thats why our recruitment agents work overtime in spreading hate against India. So that the peaceful people join our cause."

"What kind of agents?"

"The media, and India's liberals, of course. As long as your newspapers run headlines like 'And they hanged Yakub', as long as Burhan Wani is identified as a headmaster's son, as long as Osama is described as a loving father, as long as Baghdadi is called a religious scholar, and as long as your liberals write mercy petitions for our terrorists who killed hundreds of your own people, our activities will never stop receiving volunteers."

"Well, thanks for the complements. Yes, we love to glorify terrorists for viewership. Also we will support anyone, ANYONE who is against the current government, even if it means going against the nation. All for our liberal ideology. We want to protect rights of everyone, especially if we can use them mock the ruling party's claims of a secure India."

"Exactly bhaijaan. As long as we have support of the likes of you, our activities will never cease, and one day, we will bring an end to islamic oppression in India!!"

"That's a noble thought. Speaking of oppression, what do you think about oppression of Uighurs in China?"

"Uighurs? What is that?"

"Muslims in China..."

"China? Never heard of it. Okay, this interview is over. We have never spoken. Over and out."

Just before the line was cut, I could hear staccato of firing. Time to create another fatherly figure, religious scholar killed by the Army....

Friday, October 18, 2019

Moonwalk on earth

The Fall
Depressed, dejected, devoid, of all will to live
Failures galore, nobody to adore,
Nothing left to the world, for me to give,
Decided I, to end it all, and took the fall, from floor fourth of flats.

The Pit
 "He will live, but never walk" announced they,
Remaining courage and hope, in a word, trounced they.
I lay in bed, immobile, lost, shamed
Dreaming of death, more of use than  maimed.

The Ignition- 
Long at last, I had, something to fight for
Long at last, I had, a dawn to suffer the night for.
For one day, I will not only walk, but run,
For one day, I will have a battle I would've won.

Thrust and Liftoff-
Days changed to months, months to years,
Agonizing, ardous treatments, dried my tears
Darkness befallen, bereft of light's on-switch,
And then suddenly my toe felt a twitch!

Landing and Moonwalk-
With shaking limbs, and disbelieving head,
I beat the gravity of the bed
I put the foot down and walked on the earth,
A small step for me, a giant step for my rebirth.

-Shivam
 

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Troll and Peace

Volley of words, vulgar and verbose
Fired from the bow, brute and bellicose,
as arguments heated enough to melt a metal
exchanged, expressed, with no aim to settle.

Enraged, I waged, a war sans décor
Dazed, yet unfazed I fought for my corps
What do I have to lose, I thought.
With no fear of fatality,  I fought.

Over actors, politicians, countries we sparred
Fires of abuses, insults kept us charred
We brawled bad because we believe
a difference we were making, ah, so naive.

With armament of abuse, I attacked
With artillery of affront, I got whacked.
This went on and on and on, till I lost
And that was when I realized it's cost

Costed me, my time that I had to unwind.
Costed me the peace of my mind.
I left the trolls and online fighters be,
And rested in repose, gloating with glee.

Monday, August 26, 2019

The Urchin

Urchin urgin' where the roads be mergin'
To the yang of economy emergin'
the urchin just be the yin

They beg, they bang, they scrub
your windows, your cars clean
sellin' a trifle or a trinklet
and takin' whatever they can glean

When they should be playin', they be payin'
the price of penniless existence
Jumpin' the traps, fightin' for scraps
to find two square meals of subsistence.

Shooed, booed, turned away in manners most crude,
to the rough and the rude, they are inured
"Gang or mafia", we mutter as we turn them away
the urchin be smirkin', for, it's just another day

Time to think within, and introspect
What have they have done, to deserve this disrespect
Is their fault just that they be born on street
To eyes accustomed to diamonds, they just be peat.

-Shivam'da'

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

The Eye of the World

They were all true, all your worst fears
For these walls once had eyes and ears.

See'th I, all your laughs and smiles
Heard I, your fights and reconciles
For ye all came to me to rejoice
Your joy buoyed my own voice.

They were all true..

Witness'd I too, the tears rolling down your cheek
Harketh (1)  I, the life if your loved one get so bleak
For ye all came to me to mourn
For I get to see you all forlorn.

They were all true....

Once, I used to grieve with your kind,
Once I used to make merry
Now I know, gloom isn't eternal
Now I know, not all seasons are vernal (2).

They were all true...

Who am I, you might ask?
The omniscient, omnipresent?
From the fires of the world, I give you douse,
I am your own space, your shelter, your house.

1) Harketh-  Archaic term for 'heard'

2) Vernal- Related to spring season.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

The Long Game



Act 1- The Outrage


Everyone needs a slice of motivation. And nothing motivates people like fear. Fear of their livelihoods, or even lives, being snatched away in an instant. And nobody exploits these fears better than the politicians. They know what people are afraid of, or more specifically, what will they vote against. It is the inherent beauty of democracy that if you have nothing to show for your work, you can always make the voting franchise afraid of your alternative.

It had been a set of tumultuous years ever since a Right wing party had formed government at the Centre. The liberal community of the country had not imagined that in spite of the popular opinion that Right Wing parties tend to be violent and intolerant, people had opted to vote them to power. But then, such aberrations have always been a commonplace in the history of democracy. They assured themselves that the course will correct itself, as the people will see through the ways of the government. And they were soon proven right. In just two years, four intellectuals and anti-government voices had been brutally murdered, Hindutva goons lynched minorities, and riots were imminent in many parts of the country.

“For how long will we tolerate these goondas?” the headlines of the article from a popular online news portal ran. The name of the writer was Manoj Mishra. Manoj had written a series of articles criticizing the government on various topics of economic performance, to tackling corruption, to promoting hate crimes. He had received numerous abuses online for his views, and that only made him increase the frequency and intensity of his writings. Manoj was fast rising as a popular figure among the youth as an intellectual, someone who could bravely question the government. His twitter account was followed by over a million followers. Slowly, his fame rose as people across political spectrum began to take note. The ruling government tried to discredit him by calling him a paid agent of the Opposition.

“This Manoj Mishra, who is he? Who knew about him 4 years ago? He is obviously an agent of the Opposition!” the government spokesperson bellowed on a news channel. Sensing some spice, the anchor gave the mic to Manoj, who replied in his characteristically cool voice, “Respected netaji, if you indeed think so, I am willing to make my bank account statements public. You will know who paid me how much. My point is, do you dare to do the same?” This was met with a thunderous applause both in the studio as well as millions of living rooms, who saw in Manoj, their own voice.



“Is this Mr Manoj?” a smooth voice talked from the other end.

“Yes, it’s me. What do you want?” Manoj replied, thinking it would be another goon out to harass him. His notoriety had increased massively after that interview.

“Hello Manoj ji,” the voice replied, “We would like to meet you.”

“What is it about? I would like an assurance of some kind, since I value my life. How do I know you are not a goon from the government?”

“Well, I am Satyam Sundar. Google that name. Soon you will receive video call on this phone. Pick it up.” The connection went off. Soon enough, Manoj received an incoming video call from an unknown number. In trepidation, he received the phone. To his shock, it was indeed Mr Satyam Sunder, the leading investigative journalist of the country, who had compiled a book on the vicious attacks of Hindutva goons, infiltrated their network and exposed them as illiterate, unemployed trolls who abuse for a living. He was an icon for hundreds of young investigative journalists in India.

“Hello Manoj,” Satyam said. Manoj was frozen momentarily. He regained his senses in a moment, and replied, “Hello sir. I can’t describe what a pleasure it has been…” Satyam waved his hand to indicate him to stop, and said, “Yes, yes. Pleasure is important, but we need to talk business. I want you to join our group.”

“You mean your news outlet?”

“Well, not exactly. Come at the address that you will receive after this call, and you will understand everything.” The connection went dead. Soon enough, Manoj received a text message from an unknown number, directing him to The Monarch in Delhi, one of the most expensive hotels of India. The next minute, he received an email with a flight ticket. He wondered what it all meant.

The following week, Manoj was on his way to Delhi. In the interim, he had churned out another article, this time attacking the identity politics of the government. Within 24 hours of it being published, it had already been re-tweeted ten-thousand times, and had become one of the most viral articles on the internet. With state assembly elections looming, that article had put the government on a serious back-foot. Soon enough, Manoj reached the hotel. A turbaned man guided him to a small conference hall where he spotted Satyam. Satyam was not alone. The heads of the biggest news outlets, some actors and actresses belonging to Bollywood and other movie industries of India, eminent writers and poets were also present. He spotted Chandra Dubey, the writer famous for writing many socialist-themed movies. Manoj couldn’t help but notice that Chandra was wearing a gold-plated watch, expensive diamond ring, and pretty expensive shoes. The conference hall had a small bar serving any alcohol from champagne to the finest scotch. As Manoj stood there, his mouth agape, and mind struggling to process the information, Satyam walked to him and announced, “So here is the latest recruit! Meet Manoj Mishra!” Everyone in the hall applauded. Some came to congratulate him. Everyone slowly settled down, and Satyam stood up to speak.

“Assembly elections in three states are close. We have to ensure that the ruling government is brought down. We cannot have a prolonged right wing narrative in this country. With the exception of some of us, like Mr Manoj here, most of us have been rendered irrelevant in the face of the social media revolution. We need to show that we can still be the opinion makers we once were. What are our options?”

“Sir, we have already overplayed our card with the lynchings. That episode was used to topple the government in the previous election,” said Shanti Devi, a well-known Dalit activist.

“Maybe we can intensify the same narrative. More of the same. I can have our comrades march out in protest at any time,” Surendar Jha, a well-known political activist opined.

“No you fools! For how long will we keep milking the same cow?” Satyam added, suppressing a smirk for the irony.

“Sir, if I may?” Manoj lifted his hand. Nobody expected the young prodigy to speak so soon. Satyam indicated him to speak.

“We can write op-eds in our magazines, and publications, raise popular sentiment against the establishment…” He was cut short by Adil Khan, a popular stand-up comic, known for his expletive-riddled anti-establishment rants, “Manojbhai, if we wanted to do that, we wouldn’t have formed this syndicate. This is our action team.”

Satyam nodded in agreement, and so did everyone else in the room. Adil stood up and said, ‘Sir, I think we need to shock the public. People may not care enough for the life of a Muslim dairy farmer, but they will surely be shocked if someone famous is lynched.”

“Elaborate Adil,” Satyam said.

Adil continued, “How many people here know about Vijeta Kumari?”

“You mean the famous adivasi activist? She is actually doing some good work!” Manoj shouted, shocked that they might be planning to murder one of the very few people who work selflessly.

“Yes,” Adil replied calmly, “That means she is famous with the masses. Although she isn’t known for any political stand, we can always attribute a random quote to her. I am sure the very talented Mr Mishra can whip up an article attributing her murder to Hindutva goons. It will portray the ruling party as both violent and anti-Dalit.”

Manoj was speechless. He merely nodded. Whether he liked it or not, the bulk of his following and popularity came because of the people in the room.

“So it is final! A month before the elections, Miss Vijeta will meet her end. It will give us enough time to whip up a popular sentiment.”




Two months later


“….in a shocking turn of events, Ms Vijeta Kumari, a selfless Dalit activist, who spent her life in the jungles, trying to improve the life of adivaasis, has been found dead in her home. Reports claim that several men wearing saffron robes, and a tilak on forehead, entered her house late at night. Neighbours sensed some commotion, and sound of Jai Shri Ram. Before anyone could reach, the goons had escaped. Sources close to Ms Vijeta say that she was unpopular with ruling party for her anti-Hindu stance…” Manoj’s article was already typed before the actual deed could occur.
There were immediate demonstrations all across the country. Every Opposition leader hatched on to the narrative, every activist worth their salt carried out protest marches. The government spokespersons found himself unable to answer any question. The entire narrative of elections was shifted to the intolerance of the ruling government and Hindutva terror. Predictably, the ruling party lost all three elections.

Manoj received another ticket via email, this time to The Continental, one of the largest hotels in Mumbai. This time, he knew what to expect.


Act 2- The Pawn

“Welcome everyone. This is the success party of our previous campaign,” Mr Sundar started his speech. He went on to thank Mr Kapoor, a leader from the party that had benefitted from the campaign, accepted the gifts in return. He was in the middle of his speech when he spotted Manoj. Waving his hand, he introduced Manoj, “And ladies and gentleman, here is the man of the hour. Mr Manoj Mishra! This guy amplified our voices and made them reach to the Hindi heartland, where illiterate villagers still believe everything a well-dressed guy speaks in English.” It was followed by loud guffaws all around. Manoj made himself comfortable, picked a cocktail and sat on his chair. The party was royal, and it was the glitziest event he had seen. Any reporter, any real reporter, he thought to himself, could blow the cover off these people if he/she were to be present in the hall.

After extensive wining and dining, arrangements were made for all the guests to stay overnight, to avoid being seen sloshed out on the streets. Arrangements were also made for “high-class” girls, if anyone so desired. It was an orgy to put the decadent French kings to shame. Manoj declined both services, since he wasn’t drunk and had no wish to share his bed with a girl he couldn’t afford.
“It is a pity that you chose to leave, Manoj,” an inebriated Sundar said.
“I am sorry sir. I have to leave. There’s an article to be published tomorrow.”
“It’s okay son. You have work to do. Well, don’t forget to collect your payment from the doorman.”

Manoj wondered what payment Mr Sundar was referring to. He found it soon enough, as a turbaned waiter handed him a suitcase. Manoj quietly took the briefcase and slipped out of the debauchery he was witnessing at the hands of the greatest proponents of socialism and strongest crusaders of the poor.

He did not open the briefcase till he reached home.

Once home, he gingerly opened the case, and his eyes shone with a glint. It was exactly what he expected. He pocketed the contents, and sat on his couch, waiting. He didn’t have to wait long. There was soon, a rap on his door. He knew what to expect, as he tiptoed to the door. The knocks had changed to incessant bell-ringing. Manoj felt the cold revolver in his pocket.

Manoj slowly opened the door, and was greeted by loud chants of “Jai Shri Ram!” and four burly men, wearing saffron kurtas, with tilak on their head and rudraksh maalas around their necks, barged in. Manoj was flung inside.
“You bloody anti national, Muslim loving pig! How dare you write against our netaji?” one man shouted. Manoj could sense the crowd gathering outside his door, even though it was shut tightly.
“I am only doing my duty, as a journalist…” Manoj’s defence was cut short by a whack against his head. Temporarily dizzy, he stood up, swayed and fell down again. The first man signalled the others to bring out their clubs and sticks. They meant to kill. Manoj was a static target, already unconscious. They lifted their clubs to beat him to death.
The following day’s headlines were predictable.

“Prominent journalist and noted anti-government voice Manoj Mishra lynched by Hindutva goons.”


It was a huge shock to everyone. Manoj had been one of the sanest, and most popular anti-government voice over the last three years. There were talks of his book being published. And he had never written a word against Hinduism. People were dismayed at the actions of the government. Everyone knew that the ruling Right Wing party had its hand in the murder.
“This is a black day for democracy. From online trolling and slut-shaming, these Hindutva goons have now resorted to murder. First Vijetaji and now, my dear friend Manoj. When will this stop? Should we all just stay silent on government atrocities?” Mr Sundar spoke to the media, and continued, “To oppose this cruel act, some eminent and senior journalists, writers and artists will hold a press conference tomorrow at the Press Club. If we do not oppose this, who else will? The aam aadmi is too scared to even speak now.”
Next day at the press club, the stage was set for a huge event. The police had fortified the place, expecting a riot, given the sensitive nature of the event. There were already calls for beheadings of Mr Sundar and the rest, on social media right wing pages. The army of journalists, ready with their mics and recording equipment had assembled. Mr Sundar, dressed in all whites, stood up slowly from his chair and said, “First of all, we will observe a two minute silence to mourn the departed soul.” It was followed an utter silence in the hall. Two minutes later, Sundar went again to the mike, and said, “Today, we mourn the murder of Mr Manoj Mishra, who was a pure soul, untainted by the trappings of material wealth, and one who never feared to speak his mind, irrespective of the consequences. I wish every Indian had the same courage.”
One hand went up in the audience. Sundar signalled him to stand. A heavily bearded man, wearing a baggy shirt and thick eyeglasses stood up.
“Sir, are you sure Mr Manoj is dead? The police didn’t find his body.”
“What kind of question is this?” Sundar thundered, “Of course he is dead! The goons hid the body after killing him.” Sundar signalled the journalist to sit down. But he was a tough nut.
“Sir, one last question. What makes you so sure about the entire operation?”
“Are you out of your mind? We have gathered here to mourn and protest, not to create our own conspiracy theories!”
The man suddenly removed his glasses and the thick beard, which was evidently, a wig. Sundar stood there shocked. It was Manoj!


Act 3- The long game


Sundar, and the rest of the people on the dais stood there speechless. Manoj stood before them, in an event meant to mourn his death.
“Since the chief speaker of the event is out of words, I will speak,” Manoj announced, and walked up to the dais, “This man, Mr Sundar, and his entire team of eminent intellectuals, professors, writers, and artists have planned each and every event of communal unrest over the past four years. They have formed their own narratives and forced their opinions on the people of India, which has led to influencing of election results. When they were out of ideas, they planned to murder Ms Vijeta Kumari who unlike them, genuinely worked for the poor. And now, with General Election approaching, they wanted a bigger bang. So, they planned my murder. The entire cabal, with the details of every operation with proofs has already been sent to major media houses in India and abroad.”
There was a hushed silence in the hall. And then, as if snapped out of a dream, the journalists thrusted their mics on Mr Sundar’s face, who had by then, signalled his driver to bring the car around. In the ensuing ruckus, nobody noticed four more people remove their wigs, and slip out of the hall. Manoj stepped down and walked away, without answering any other question. Mr Sundar and his team hurriedly escaped before the journalists could ask anything further, and sat inside their cars.

And the cars went up in air one by one, exploding. Everything was streamed live due to the media coverage. The incident would be talked about for days after it occurred. Nobody knew the murderer, and nobody heard from Manoj Mishra after the event. It was as if he had vanished into thin air. Only Manoj knew what had happened that day at his flat.

One day before, at Manoj’s flat


“I am only doing my duty, as a journalist…” Manoj’s defence was cut short by a whack against his head. Temporarily dizzy, he stood up, swayed and fell down again. The first man signalled the others to bring out their clubs and sticks. They meant to kill. Manoj was a static target, already unconscious. They lifted their clubs to beat him to death…
….and then Manoj swiftly rolled to one side and shot his attacker point-blank. He fell down, stunned, and with a hole at the back of his head, from where his brains had flown out. The other attackers looked equally confused. Manoj pointed his gun at them and said, “Nobody moves. Absolutely nobody moves.” He didn’t have to warn them. The sudden twist in events had left the other three attackers dazed and confused. Manoj then opened the music folder in his phone, which was connected to his surround-sound speakers via Bluetooth, and played “Jai shri Ram” chants. The attackers had no clue what was happening. Manoj smiled, and fired three clean shots. All three were dead.

There was constantly increasing knocks on the door. The neighbours, visibly worried, had even called the police. Manoj could hear the familiar police sirens. He dragged the bodies towards his room, and quickly opened the windows. A garbage collection truck was waiting directly below his window. Manoj threw the dead bodies in the truck, and himself jumped in. Upstairs, he saw the neighbours finally enter his house by breaking the door. He smirked to himself. They had absolutely no idea.

It had all begun when Manoj had received a note from his planted man inside the Continental, about the cabal’s plan to murder him the next day. Those plans were discussed before he reached. Manoj knew what to expect, who to expect, and he was ready.




Present day, at an unknown location


“So, you knew about the cabal?”
“Well, what these self-proclaimed intellectuals didn’t know was, that I was a decoy. I was following their handiwork for a long time. It was evident that they were triggering these events. The Manoj Mishra they so admired had infiltrated their network, only to take it down from within.”
“But all those articles, those tweets, talk shows? Was that all…”
“Yes Gita. Everything was a part of a plan. Plus I didn’t even research for my articles. There were a fixed set of words I kept on using and re-using. I knew they will lap it up, as it aided their agenda.”
“What next Dr Shyam?” Gita asked. She was still having difficulty remembering the name. After all, it was only the previous day that the vigilante-doctor had revealed his true identity. He said he was on a run for the last two years, and trusted nobody. But Gita was different. She had shown her courage and character that day by planting bombs in the cars of Mr Sundar and his cabal, in spite of such heavy police presence.
“I don’t know. Only time will tell with whose blood we will write the next chapter of Scalpel Notes,” Shyam replied with a twisted smile.



Saturday, March 23, 2019

Pain

What started with a wince,
and never stopped growing since,
From anger to desolation what does foment,
Mate in the cell of my private hell, my pain, my torment.

What a teacher you've been, O mean,
you gave me the might, sight to see the light,
at the end of the tunnel, funnel enough strength
to fight the fight, to pay Almighty's wicked wite.

Each moment with you, an eternity in Hell
Like a visit from Hades, right at the ring of the bell
You burned me, and roasted, in the kiln you chose
'til I became, in this battle, brute and bellicose.

Eventually, vanquished were you, conquered and crushed,
Into silence, the screams from your attacks were hushed
The triumphant was left scarred, marred by the war
The victor walked again, slain never by the pain.

Monday, July 9, 2018

Freedom 2.0


What is the freedom that they seek,
the want from which, they reek?

They seek to defy?
Or seek to fly?
or any other truth
they want to belie?

What is the freedom that they seek,
the want from which, they reek?

They call themselves the wise,
Tolerant and liberal to the core.
And yet, their narrative, when someone defies
Quick they are, to settle the score.

What is the freedom that they seek,
the want from which, they reek?

Freedom to speak is what they seek,
Freedom to be the voice of the meek
And yet, why their support only extends,
to the sycophants of their clique?

What is the freedom that they seek,
the want from which, they reek?

Their ilk bilks those they claim to help
At the slightest trigger, "intolerance!", "Aazaadi!",they yelp.
From opposing a PM, to opposing a nation,
all for the need of their daily rations.

What is the freedom that they seek,
the want from which, they reek?


Their outrage, their acrimony, their anger

Their slogans, their shouts, their clangor,

is only for those, who play by their rules,

is only for those, who act as their tools.

What is the freedom...

For long we heard, only their side of the tale,

For long, we entertained those, who kept their souls for sale

For long, we played, by their rules

For long, we allowed ourselves to be made their fools


Call me a troll, or IT cell with a task,

but this question, I will again ask

What is the freedom that they seek?

The want from which, they reek.


Monday, March 26, 2018

Nirbhaya I Hate You

Nirbhaya I Hate you

Snoring in our slumber, we were
Enchanted by the idyll of our dreams
And then you came, oh so loud the hollar
That caught us and shook us by the collar

For showing the demons of our minds,
For removing ignorance's comfortable blinds
Nirbhaya i hate you

Succeasfully we hid, the whinings with the shining
And blocked dissent's disruptive dins
Along you came then, and shook our core
All the hypocrisy within, you brought to the fore.

For showing the demons of our minds,
For removing ignorance's comfortable blinds
Nirbhaya i hate you

You brought us pain, you drove us insane
All the rosy pictures we painted,
You took and filled it
With reality's despairing disdain

For showing the demons of our minds,
For removing ignorance's comfortable blinds
Nirbhaya i hate you

No longer do the people get trampled and forget
No longer do the persecuted suffer in silence
You gave them strength to face the fight
You gave them will to face our might
Neither we saw, nor heard nor spoke against any evil
But you yanked our hands, and forced us,
To feel the heat that roasts the common man

Forgive you, we'll not, O Nirbhaya, for you
Forced us to face the monster of our making.
-shivam'da'

Thursday, March 22, 2018

The Invisible Doctor


The Invisible Doctor

He packed his books, he packed his lunch,
he checked his purse, to count the crunch.
He reached the library's table, and started his day
Counting the dragons of the day left to slay.

A Doctor, a healer, they called him,and he'd smirk,
Books, and not patients, held him in a cirque.
Armed with a fancy prefix and a fancy suffix, though,
rendered useless in the face of challenges that lurk.

"So, why are you studying now? Did you fail?"
Questions that broke his self esteem, so frail.
Gathering the remains of his pride, he'd reply,
"The sea beckons. I am merely adjusting my sail."

Daily he'd see updates, of his friends revelling in success
Daily he'd wish his life were a little less of a mess
Daily his determination would evolve
And he'd get the strength to face, the next MCQ to solve.
- Shivam

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Umbilical cord

Umbilical cord- an ode to the unsung

This poem is an ode to the thousands of nameless of labourers, cab drivers, house helps, watchmen, who work thousands of miles away from their home for some money.

Sequestered, stranded in soulless solitude,
Derided till dulled, drudgery forever devalued,
Mind meanders to his mansion's memories,
Sweat soaked shirt swings back to his salaries.

A family he had, back where he lived.
A million dreams, with his wife he'd conceived.
But, curse the Life's cruel bends,
He, now but a labourer to meet his ends.

Each night, when the sweat dried
Each night, when his limbs ceased to ache
Each night when he would remember those he left behind
Each night he would sleep wide awake.

Then he played one day, a song of his land,
Felt his wife and kids gently hold his hand
That night, he slept like a Lord,
curled in peace, around Music's umbilical cord.

-Shivam

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Sunrise

The sun streaked across the sky,
Its rays killed the dark
As arrows do the fearful foe
And signaled the birth of a new dawn.

Yet the world was snoring
In its deep enchanted slumber.

The chirping of birds filled the sky
As the music strummed sweetly
The gentle breeze lifted the blanket of sleep
As the sky cleared for the display of Apollo’s might

Yet the world was snoring
In its deep enchanted slumber.

When will we wake
Up to the new dawn?
Why are we still lost I dreams,
Of glories and conquests long gone?

Wake up! Wake up!
It’s the clarion call of the day
The time of slumber is long gone.
Let’s step out of our shells.

At the herald of the new day
Grab the sun with both hands
And put its fire in our hearts
And show the world our awakening.

-Shivam

Apocalypse now

Amidst the rumors of impending doom
Amidst ever pervading gloom
Waiting for Death to take its final bow,
I wonder, is it really apocalypse now?

Where greed has grown, and avarice abounds,
Where duplicity and fraudulence breeds new grounds,
Seeing the manipulators, and the seeds of chaos they sow,
I wonder, is it really apocalypse now?

Where speech is stifled by strangulating strands
Where a pair of lips is silenced, by many heavy hands
Truth’s spirit wallowing in an all time low,
I wonder, is it really apocalypse now?

Not by earth-shattering quakes, nor by charring fires
Apocalypse is nothing but unrestrained desires.
The day temptation doesn’t make the conscience waver,
It will not be apocalypse now, but apocalypse never.

-Shivam

The Dialogue

The stage was set. And the crowd, set up. Expectedly, it consisted of his sycophants and cronies, and some real people who had come to entertain themselves with the fiction, served with liberal doses of false emotions. For most of the audience, it was a movie-worthy experience, for free. Not for him, though. Not for him, who silently climbed the building opposite the maidaan. He, who slowly opened a case and removed what he needed to. The stage was set. And so was the scope.

Shyam lied down comfortably and adjusted the sniper gun on his shoulders. The scope was focussed on the dias. The speaker, a Union minister known more for his scams than any real work in the office, was about to arrive. The elections were approaching and the customary farce of promises had begun. But this particular farce would stop that day, Shyam thought determinedly. And then, with a slew of cars riding on public money, he reached the maidaan. Shyam’s heart didn’t skip a beat. He was trained for more than this little chore of shooting a target down. And then, he came within the range of his scope. And then, Shyam took aim for his head and pressed the trigger…

“Stop! Right now!” Cold steel pressed on his back and boomed in his ears.

“What the hell…” Shyam muttered as he lowered the sniper, cursing himself for not ensuring proper clearance prior to his mission.

“I said put it down immediately!” Shyam slowly put the gun down and raised his hands.

“You bloody thug!” A punch flew across and was about to hit Shyam’s face when he blocked it, out of reflex.

“I am not a thug. I am an ex-Army man. Like you.”

“What?”

“Yes. I was in the security staff of another minister,” Shyam stated non chalantly.

“Then how dare you plan murder of our own leaders?”

“Because I saw something that shook me to the core. I saw the man I was protecting, doing a deal with some company. “

“So? They are all corrupt, we know it!”

“Yes, we all know it! But this deal would have ensured that the Indian army would receive substandard ammunition and bulletproof vests,” Shyam replied angrily.

“What?” he was clearly shocked. He didn’t expect the representatives of the country to fall so steeply.

“Yes. However, the company man suffered a mysterious accident that day and was never seen,” Shyam smiled wickedly.

“You bloody murderer!” the bodyguard smacked one across Shyam’s face, “You could have easily reported the matter and stopped it by constitutional means! You didn’t have to murder!”

“Constitution? Oh, you mean that book of codes that is being ripped apart daily by these politicians?”

“Yes, I mean that. And merely killing one of the politicians wont make you a guardian. It will make you a traitor.”

“A traitor? For protecting my own country?”

“Yes, a traitor! And I wont have a bloody traitor roaming aout! Not on my watch!” The bodyguard held Shyam by his neck and started dragging him.

“Wait, wait.. Officer, what’s your name?”

“Vishal singh.”

“So Vishal, will you save the skin of the man who wont think twice before selling the soul of our beloved nation?”

“Yes, traitor. I will. Because its my duty. And nothing ranks above my duty for me.”

“Are you crazy? How can you like serving this apology of a man?”

“Yes. Because its my duty,” again a flat, hard response coming from gritted teeth.

“Duty? Who are you working for? The country or this man?” Shyam was genuinely shocked.

“For the country. For the laws of this great nation. And as long as I am alive, I will not allow anyone to break those laws.” The grip around Shyam’s neck tightened a little.

A silence ensued for a moment, punctuated only by the amplified voice of hollow promises being dished out to the by-now-immune gentry, who had only come to clap and receive the free biscuit packets.

“You hear that?” Shyam asked, “That is the voice of the man who will not hesitate for a moment before killing you, and others of your ilk, just to serve his purpose. What difference would it have made if I had made a complaint? I would have been thrown out of the job, and goons set after me and my family. Instead, I left it honorably, collected my pension and shifted my family out of India. Now my actions here will not affect their future. I have ensured it. Tell me, what would your Constitution have given me? Pain? Anger? Humiliation? And this bastard would have walked out of the case, with a fucking clean chit, clean kurta and clean smile. No. Today, he shall not leave this place alive!”

Vishal’s grip loosened. Probably the traitor was right. Yet, he could not abdicate his duty, for which he was paid. That separated him from a barbarian.

“Only one bullet will be fired. Only one sound will be heard. Lets see who is faster,” Vishal said calmly, the calmness being the oil over the storm of his thoughts. Shyam smiled. Very few could match his skill at shooting. Probably Vishal could be one of them. With a nozzle pressed firmly at his temple, Shyam carefully took aim.

Only one sound was heard. And the gathered audience could only gape in horror as the shining white kurta of the orator was stained red, the stain slowly spreading as life ebbed out of him. While countless legitimate cases had failed to stain him, an illegal bullet by a traitor succeeded.

That evening, the news agencies confirmed two highly irregular events

1) A dead man with a sniper gun lay on the top floor of the building opposite to where the minister was standing.

2) The personal bodyguard of the minister, one Mr Vishal Singh had disappeared.

Who, after all killed the minister?